So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
