Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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