Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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