There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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