I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
