yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
