it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Soap is not a condiment
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
