but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
