then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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