Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
