This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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