I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
