PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dick very happy bro
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
