I cannot find my penis.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
