If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
