you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
