toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
