i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
