You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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