Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
