I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
