I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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