Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
