can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
