This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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