im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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