Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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