wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
