this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
