why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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