Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
