Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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