she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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