I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
