I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
