There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
