Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
