The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just want to make out with him forever
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize