you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
