I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They took my balls.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
