You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
