Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
