i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
