so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
