Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
