I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
