Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
