Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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