You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
