I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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