Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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