Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
