Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
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