so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
