I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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