Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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