And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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