So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
