I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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